Three Ways to Get More of What You Want in Bed

Most women are pretty good at the whole communication thing. They can give their friends advice and talk about their feelings with their significant other with plenty of ease. However, many women are lacking in communication skills when it comes to getting more of what they want in the bedroom. Maybe it’s because they’re afraid to hurt their partner’s feelings, or maybe it’s because they’re not even sure what they truly want out of sex, but this is a tough area for a lot of the ladies. Instead of letting your fears and uncertainties hold you back, try utilizing some of the following three tips to gain an advantage in bed.
Figure Out What Actually Makes You Feel Good:
Let’s say that you’ve figured out what isn’t working for you, but you’re really not certain what would work for you. If you don’t know what moves and techniques make you feel good, how can you possibly communicate your needs to your partner? Much as it might seem embarrassing, the only way you’re going to figure out what really lights your fire is to experiment, both by yourself and with your partner. That means, first and foremost, blocking out some solo time when you’re home all alone to test out what it takes to get you to that big “O” moment.
Get more of what you want in bed.
Once you’ve figured out the basics alone, you need to try to change things up with your partner. Spontaneity can be your friend here. Midway through the act, try transitioning into a new position or switching up your speed and pacing. Start small and work your way up to more adventurous things as time goes on, being careful to gauge your partner’s comfort level. Odds are he’ll be just as happy to switch up your routine as you are.
Show Him the Way
This is where some of that knowledge you gained in step one can be put to further use. As you’re fooling around, guide him. Gently move his hand to the spot where you’d prefer he place it. Kiss him in the manner you’d like to be kissed. If he’s not quite hitting the right spot, shift your body or weight over—don’t just hope that he’ll eventually get it right. You can even momentarily take things into your own hands and demonstrate what you now know works for you, or put your hand over his and show him to do it “like this.” You may feel silly at first, but just give him your sexiest look, and he’ll probably go wild for it. If it gets goofy or awkward feeling, just go with it and laugh. Laughing during sex—as long as you’re not laughing at your partner but are instead laughing with him—can be surprisingly wonderful. It might be just what you both need to loosen up and enjoy yourselves more.
Ask Him What to Do, Tell Him What You Need
Finally, should all of the more subtle techniques fail, just flat out talk to him about it. The key is to bring it up in a playful or sexy manner as opposed to a forceful, bossy one. When you’re in the midst of going at it, drop little hints in an encouraging manner. As opposed to saying “you’re doing that too fast,” try instead saying, “that feels good, try going even slower.” When he does something that feels right, encourage him to keep it up. All it takes it the phrase “more” and a few happy sighs or moans, and he’ll get the message. You can always spice up your requests by framing them as dirty talk or playful, flirty banter. He probably won’t even realize you’re telling him what to do. Just make sure to return the favor when he makes his own requests here and there, and you’ll both be enjoying yourselves infinitely more each time you hit the sheets together.